I knew it would happen. Nobody's perfect.
It all started with a very innocent trip to Subway yesterday to get a healthy lunch. The smell of the chocolate chip cookies got to me. I purchased 5 on a whim....1 for each of my family members, including me. I figured 1 sweet treat after 19 days of no sweet treats would not hurt me too bad.
The sugary goodness of that one f%*&#(* cookie made me crave even more junk. So, I ate a pop tart. Then a bowl of cookie crisp. Then I decided I was hungry for cheese dip. So, I walked next door to Dollar General (btw...no foodie should ever live walking distance from a dollar store- it is horrible) and racked up on $30 worth of junk food.
I ate some oreos and other junk before bed and just felt horrible physically. My stomach hurt, I felt lazy again, and very sad that food is like my crack. It is a tragedy..and unfair that I have to have this crazy love/hate relationship with food. Not only did I eat a bunch of junk, but my whole family did. So it took the little ones forever to go to sleep because they were all hyped up....and my oldest daughter was concerned about the calories, and could not understand why I was doing this to myself. I wish I had an answer for her.
So today I wake up and fully intend on getting back on track, but the junk was all still here. So I eat more of it. And we ordered pizza for lunch. WHAT THE HELL??
I walked passed my closet door where I have my weekly weigh ins documented on a piece of paper. I have lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks, and now I am jacking myself all up before weigh in #3???? Who does this?????
Any ideas on what I should do? How can I get back right again. I don't want these past 24 hours to define me. But the cravings are back....along with self doubt...depression...ickiness....I just want to get back right.