Thursday, January 20, 2011

NOOOOOO! Knew this day would come.

I knew it would happen. Nobody's perfect.

It all started with a very innocent trip to Subway yesterday to get a healthy lunch. The smell of the chocolate chip cookies got to me. I purchased 5 on a whim....1 for each of my family members, including me. I figured 1 sweet treat after 19 days of no sweet treats would not hurt me too bad.

WRONG.

The sugary goodness of that one f%*&#(* cookie made me crave even more junk. So, I ate a pop tart. Then a bowl of cookie crisp. Then I decided I was hungry for cheese dip. So, I walked next door to Dollar General (btw...no foodie should ever live walking distance from a dollar store- it is horrible) and racked up on $30 worth of junk food.

I ate some oreos and other junk before bed and just felt horrible physically. My stomach hurt, I felt lazy again, and very sad that food is like my crack. It is a tragedy..and unfair that I have to have this crazy love/hate relationship with food. Not only did I eat a bunch of junk, but my whole family did. So it took the little ones forever to go to sleep because they were all hyped up....and my oldest daughter was concerned about the calories, and could not understand why I was doing this to myself. I wish I had an answer for her.

So today I wake up and fully intend on getting back on track, but the junk was all still here. So I eat more of it. And we ordered pizza for lunch. WHAT THE HELL??

I walked passed my closet door where I have my weekly weigh ins documented on a piece of paper. I have lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks, and now I am jacking myself all up before weigh in #3???? Who does this?????

Any ideas on what I should do? How can I get back right again. I don't want these past 24 hours to define me. But the cravings are back....along with self doubt...depression...ickiness....I just want to get back right.

Tear.

10 comments:

  1. How much pain can you handle. Do you want the truth or everyone to pat you on the head and tell you not to do it again ?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Throw the junk OUT. Do not worry about the $$ you spent on that "food" it will cost you more to eat it. Brush yourself off and start again, right now. It happens to the best of us, do not beat yourself up. {{{hugs}}}

    ReplyDelete
  3. we got rid of it completely, I used to tell myself that those things were for the kids, that I'd be depriving them somehow if we didn't by it, then I woke up and realized if its no good for me, its not good for them either, we eat smaller meals every 2-3 hours starting within an hour after we wake up and til dinner, I find for us it helps a lot with portion control, we don't eat as much at each meal because it hasn't been too long since we've eaten, and even if we eat something we shouldn't(which usually gives us a headache and stomach ache) we don't over-do it like we used to. We just had this issue last night because we went bowling and got pizza with friends, I got salad and pork instead because just the smell made me feel sick, my husband ate two slices and felt like crap for the rest of the night, lesson learned! When you start to feed your body good stuff throughout the day you don't get cravings as much and your never really too hungry, we also drink a ton of water so that helps, including at lest 20 ounces with each meal, after about three weeks your body gets used to feeling good and keeps you away from the bad better for us at least, hope it was helpful and not preachy!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not trying to endorse what you did. I'm also not trying to sugar coat what I'm about to say..but I'm also not going to try to rip your spine out of your throat b/c you made a mistake...

    That being said:
    You messed up - you made a poor decision, which lead to an out of control snowball from *bleep* crash.

    #1, did you learn anything from this? "treats" aren't worth it. They aren't treats. They are sugary devils in disguise.

    #2, are you going to let this setback define you for the rest of the year? You messed up, yep. It happens to some of us. What is more important is what you do now. You can either wallow in guilt, or brush the crumbs off, and get back on track. Even if this stumble blows your next weigh in - Do NOT let that define you.

    Move forward! You can do it :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I seriously need your phone number. Give it to me on facebook and tell me when a good time to call is. You need more support and I can give it to you and kick your ass all at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rome wasn't built overnight. Sleep well tonight and go at it fresh tomorrow morning. Cheers, Rick

    ReplyDelete
  7. THROW THAT STUFF OUT!!! Don't worry about throwing money in the garbage-- better the money than your health! And no one in your family needs the junk either. You'll feel better afterwards, promise!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I wrote a comment, but it involved bad words so I decided it would be better to send you an email instead. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You don't wanna eat it anymore. Throw it out. It's better in the trash than it is on your system.

    Have a better day!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Food per se is not your crack. SOME FOODS are your crack. So, like a crack addict, you have to face that some foods are poison to you and you have to relegate them to teh category of "must not be touched or die."

    Stop with the sugar. Stop with the refined starchy crap. IT MAKES YOU HUNGRY. IT DOES. Thats wht it does in the body, make you wanna eat MORE. It is the problem, not you.

    Do you binge on lettuce? Cucumbers? Okra? Chicken breast, grilled? Pork tenderloin, roasted? Blueberries, raw? Green peppers? Spinach? Broccoli?

    Get my drift? You're not binging on FOOD. You're binging ons CERTAIN FOODS.

    Admit you can't handle those foods and refuse to listen to their call. ONE BITE will make you want 1000 bites. Avoid the first bite and you win.

    Best of luck

    ReplyDelete